Keys, Security and Confusion

My father was pedantic about security – such that he had a plethora of keys, locks, and confusion.   There were keys everywhere. He had bunches of keys.  The bunches of car keys (there were two that I have found) had they car key, and remote – (which hasn’t worked for some years), the key to the steering wheel lock, and other key for something we have not determined.

The house keys were on another bunch – some of them were marked with Dymo.  FSD meant ‘front screen door’, FD was the front door, and BD was the back door.  As well there was a number of other keys for which we have not found doors or locks.

At the front door there was a security screen door (FSD), and a timber door with two locks.  One was the one for FD, but the other did not have a key, and pity help anyone who accidentally turned the knob at the back of the door locking it.  Which is what either he or mum did at one stage, and one can see the scratches where he tried to cut the glass window to get in.  (I’ve never understood why he didn’t just smash the window – if he was going to break it anyway.....)

Also there are keys to each window, and each door.  Some keys are ‘hidden’ on tops of wardrobes – and yes, he locked his wardrobe, though to be fair it was the only way the doors remained shut.  It had no other device to keep the door closed.

In a way it indicates to me the concern for their own security that my parents had.  But they were ‘over the top’ – and it did in the end, risk their own security.

Mum, as her dementia progressed, became increasingly confused – and agitated by it all. Dad on the other hand focussed on their security with a passion and determination that was worrying.  When there was a murder (and I think still unsolved) just a few streets away, he was especially concerned.  There are bolts on gates, padlocks, and yes, of course more keys.

Dad was also ‘tight’ with his money.  The idea of having some locks ‘keyed alike’ would have been a challenge to him.  It cost less to copy a key or keys, than to have some ‘keyed alike’, so that was his choice.

My sister and I, and I am sure others, were concerned should there be a fire.  It would not be easy to unlock all the doors to escape – and I am aware that this has been an issue with other people in such emergencies.

Perhaps we need a government program to assist families, especially older or at risk families or individuals with security. 

Another issue I am aware of is the smoke alarm issue.  Certainly I agree that we should all have them – but I know there are issues, especially as the batteries run down.  So many older or frail people have challenges with them, especially changing the batteries.  You need someone with a ladder, and the ability to climb the ladder to change the battery if it is correctly placed on the ceiling!!!!  So, sometimes, people make bad choices about these alarms – either disconnecting them permanently or not putting new batteries in correctly. I know Dad changed all the batteries in February this year, as all have labels on them, written in his favourite red ink, giving the date the batteries were changed.  I am not sure if this 91 year old was the one that changed the batteries, climbing on a ladder to access the alarms on the ceiling!

So sad.  Can someone invent an easier way to keep these alarms fully operational without risking life and limb?  Can we have a program to assist families to be secure at home, without having bunches of keys?  I would guess that in all there are at least 30 keys in use in my parents unit.  Bizarre!!!

(I must say that in 2008, when my husband was mowing the lawn, someone sneaked into the house, which was not locked, and took phone, wallet, camera etc, he went overboard with security, and I needed two keys to get out of the house!!! I was not happy!!!)

I am finding it interesting looking closer inside cupboards, and inside the life that my parents lived in this unit for so many years.  They refused to accept much advice from their daughters – quite touchy really as the place was really in need of some extra TLC!

Exploitation of Elderly

Sadly it is something that has been going on for years - somehow an uncrupulous son or daughter, (or other family member) has the power (perhaps due to an power of attourney) to take control of their parent/s money and use it for their own ends.

The Sunday Mail (November 28th, 2010) reports on this issue in a piece which highlights the problem.  In our state we have some legislation to protect elderly people, but if the family moves them interstate, they have no such protection - a case for their being a national law on this issue rather than just a state issue.  How big an issue is it?  Who knows.  But it is complex.  My own family situation is difficult - Dad, who is distressed and I believe dementing has control over Mum's things, and he's just giving everything away.  Money?  Who knows what is going on there.  Can I do anything about it?  No, he won't let me help him.  Maybe he thinks I want to take his money, I don't know. 

It is a complex problem, that's for sure.

Sunday Mail article here.

Another sad story

Yesterday, the bodies of two elderly ladies were found in their Gold Coast Unit.  It appears that the mother and daughter had died some time previously.  The mother 85 had died, earlier, and the daughter aged 65, had died some time after her mother.  They were migrants from Yugoslavia, who had made very good in Australia, but lack of support, culture differences perhaps, no family etc had meant that their declining years were lonely, and to think that they had been dead for some time - right in the midst of the busy Gold Coast is hard to beleive.

This event hightlights some dilemmas that old people face.  Especially those who have no one.  We know that there are good support services for people such as these, but either they did not know about them, or they chose not to take advantage of them.

We acknowledge that people often make their own choices.  Rightly or wrongly. 

In any case we feel guilt about events such as these. 

It appears that the ladies were quite reclusive and didn't even use any electricity, despite the fact that it was connected to the unit.  

Each times such an event occurs there are promises by well meaning people to keep an eye on older neighbours, especially those alone - but it is hard to know what to do. 

Read the story here.