I left Adelaide on July 1st - just 10 days ago, knowing that I may not see my father alive. At the time he was determined to live on, and as he can do, he fought hard, but it is not to be.
I have booked to go back tomorrow morning - and the chances I will be alive are slim. He has told my sister he is ready to go. It has been very distressing for her and her daughter and son, and we are all somewhat fragile.
My daughter and her children are still going to Adelaide on Thursday, but he has asked that the children not see him. He wants them to remember him in the 'good times.'
We are of the opinion not to tell my mother - whose dementia is such that she is unaware of what is going on outside the walls of her haven - the nursing home.
She does not even comment on not seeing her husband of over 60 years - she thinks he comes every two or three days, and now it is more like four weeks since he has seen her. Even when we visit, she is wonderful, but she forgets we came, soon after. It is hard for everyone but she is doing well physically, and we may not tell her anything of the events.
I think too of the fact that as one of the last of a large family - he is the 'last one standing' so to speak - and even cousins are too fragile health wise to attend his farewell - his funeral. His friends have passed too. There are few left. Strange really, and that his wife will not be there either.
He's lived a long and fruitful life, but it is almost over.
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